one of 'those' people

Today I experienced a small victory on my journey to becoming a healthier, more fit me.  In the past, after finishing a race, my after-race recovery has turned into an extended break from exercise period.  It's pretty much a repeated cycle, train for a race, take a 'break' (which inevitably turns into months of no exercise and bad eating), and then decide I need some sort of motivation to exercise so I register for another race and force myself to start training.  But this time has been different...lately I've been feeling convicted on a spiritual level about how poorly I treat my body.  I have very poor eating habits and struggle to make exercise a part of my daily/weekly routine. So I have been praying that the Lord would change my heart towards food and exercise and help me make lasting lifestyle changes.  When I came home from Boston, I took a week off from running and last week jumped right back into my running routine and went running 3 days last week!! Baby steps :)  So I woke up today (my first day off this week), fixed some breakfast, caught up a little on my dvr, and then laced up my running shoes and was out the door.  About halfway through my run, I realized that today I was one of 'those' people today-the people that enjoy exercising and don't let a little rain get in the way of their routine.  This was a small step and yet a huge victory for me!!  In the past I would have used every excuse in the book to avoid exercise, especially rain, but today the thought never crossed my mind.  The war is far from over, but I am so thankful for winning today's battle :)   

                                                                                                                                  

On my way!! (africa part 2)

So with all my support raised, my bags packed and being sufficiently immunized, I loaded up my car and headed to Greensboro to spend the night with my sister and her family and to get in some extra snuggles with my new niece :). It still amazes me how much peace the Lord gave me about this whole process and I think I was only nervous for a couple of hours before meeting everyone at the airport.  I had emailed and talked with Anna's dad a couple of times but hadn't met him or the other ladies going with us, and ironically enough this was what I was most nervous about.  Would we get along, have things in common, be hard to travel with??  So as I was standing in the airport waiting, this sweet gal came around the corner and said, "Are you Susannah?"  When I said yes, she gave me a huge hug and said, "I am sooo excited to meet you and to go to Africa!!!" in the sweetest southern accent and all my worries and nerves were gone!!  This was Shelly, a sweet lady who is a veterinarian and also went to the same high school I did, just a few years before me: small world!!  Next I met Anna's parents, Bonnie and Ivan, 2 of the kindest, most genuine people.  Their love for Jesus and for people just emanates from them. And lastly I met Andrea, a very intuitive and sensitive woman who was going on her first mission trip ever at over 50 yrs of age. Our little team of 4 (Anna's mom stayed behind) left from Greensboro, had a short layover in Newark and then were on our way across the Atlantic!!

I just might be crazy...

For the most part I would consider myself a very confident and independent person and if anything I tend to swing toward the exact opposite of people pleasing: doing what I do because I want or like something and really not caring what other people think about me or whether they like me or not.  And as good as this can be in some situations, I am learning to find a healthy balance of confidence and independence with being sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others.  I say all of this because even though I may come across this way, for as long as I can remember I have struggled with weight, food and exercise.  I go through phases where I am very dedicated and exercise faithfully for a few months but I seriously struggle to incorporate this into my everyday life.  The last year and a half have been the hardest months of my life emotionally and just like other times in my life I have used food as a means of comfort and escape.  At the beginning of 2011 I decided not to make resolutions but rather to pray that the Lord would help me to make real and lasting change in my life.

Knowing that I needed something to really challenge me but also keep me motivated and have noticable results within a semi-short period of time, I decided on Insanity with Shaun T.  It is the absolute hardest and most physically demanding workout I have ever done in my life.  It is a 60 day program with 6 workouts a week and a rest on Sunday.  I was really hoping I would be able to do it 6 days a week but with my work schedule it is impossible to do this level of workout on the days I work.  So I will be working out every day that I don't work and use my work days as my rest days.  After completing the first week of the workout rotations I can already tell a difference in my energy level and my endurance in the workouts so I am excited about what is to come!!  I would welcome any and all encouragement and accountability..so if you see me or are thinking about me and want to drop me an email or text please ask me about whether I am staying committed and how things are going :)    And in case you are wondering the reason it is called Insanity is because it is!!!!! Beachbody.com/Insanity-Workouts

                                                                                                       

the back story (africa part 1)

I had been on several mission trips and had wonderful experiences and really saw the Lord moving and working but I always had Africa in the back of my mind.  Several friends who had been there joked about 'getting bitten by the Africa bug' :-)  Many years ago when I was in a much different place in my relationship with the Lord and going through an extremely selfish phase, I was afraid to totally surrender to Him in fear that He would make me go to Africa and be a missionary and single for the rest of my life.  So I think in my closer, less-selfish relationship with Jesus going to Africa became a deep desire and not a scary thought. And so, 2 summers ago I had the opportunity to go to Zimbabwe with my old church to do a building project for a church there that we supported.  To say that it was a life-changing experience is an understatement.  My eyes were open to the love and power of God in a whole new way and I was 'bitten'.  God gave me a love and a heart for the African people that is sometimes hard to describe, and since that trip I have been hoping and praying that I would be able to go back. 


Fast-forward to December 2010: one Sunday night I stayed after community group to sit and talk with my friend Anna. I had been part of the group for months but this was the first time that we had just sat and talked and shared with each other.  I usually have a hard time opening up and really letting people know my heart and my struggles, to me its easier just to deal with it on my own.  But, in the last year and half I have learned that it is so much better to share your burdens and struggles with trusted friends even when it is hard.  So there I sat on Anna's couch pouring out my heart and tears and desires for marriage and children and feeling like I had nothing fun or exciting to look forward to.  Somewhere in the midst of our conversation, I mentioned Africa and wanting to go back someday and Anna said that her dad was taking a team from his church to Guinea-Bissau in a few months and I might be able to tag along.  I was definitely interested but in the back of my mind I assumed it wouldn't work out. 


In less than a week, Anna's dad contacted me and told me that there were some long-term missionary ladies that worked close by to the area that his team was going, who were always needing help, would I like to come??  I was blown away!!!  Still not seeing the Lord's hand in all of this, I called my friend Julianne who is preparing to go to Bolivia for full-time missions and she asked me "Is there any reason you wouldn't go?"  It was like a lightbulb went off in my head and I laughed out loud at myself and said no there's not!! Within a week later, my time off work was approved and I had a plane ticket with my name on it :-)  From that point on I had a supernatural peace that everything would work out.  My passport renewal went through within a week and a half and the Lord provided enough money through support raising and getting to work some overtime for me to pay for my plane ticket and all the shots I needed. 


Even as I sit here and replay all these steps in my mind, I am blown away by His love and mercy and provision!!  Jesus not only answered a prayer I hadn't even put into real thoughts or words, but He did it in a way that was way beyond "all I could ask or imagine". 
                                                                                                    

back to blogland :-)

new computer means I'm back in blogness (business :-).  some of you know that I just got back from an amazing mission trip to Africa and while I was there I was able to do something I have always struggled to do consistently and that is journaling.  so as soon as I recover from jetlag and get my photos downloaded and finish processing through everything the Lord was teaching me, I am going to start a little blog series about my trip.  so stay tuned!!